Eternal Sunshine
by reya-chan
Summary: Kagome fights for her life; and InuYasha can't save her this time. Why?


**_Eternal Sunshine_**

Sweaty palms and sharp claws held her by the throat, almost willing her to scream. Even if she wanted to, she couldn't as her throat seemed as dry as kindle.

She felt tears warm her eyes, the sting of them becoming more and more unbearable. Letting a few tears glide endlessly down her cheeks, she sniffled, biting back a sob willing to come out.

_Not now, _

_Not today._

Cringing as the fingers and claws prodded her skin, tearing flesh, she held back on her terrified scream. She could feel small drops of blood flowing down her neck, as if taunting her at the torture to come. She felt the cool liquid run down her neck and over her collarbone, then smoothly down her pale skin.

Breathing was becoming harder to do, as her captor had her by the throat, wanting her to give up. She couldn't, because if she did, her entire world, her friends, would come after her. She couldn't release that inside pain, not yet, not now.

_Not when everything was becoming crystal clear,_

_When I finally found that eternal sunshine._

_The light that warmed me, the sunshine that begged to be warm and bright._

He smothered her farther into a wall, pressing her spine against hard rubble, with sharp edges that pierced her skin. She was beginning to fade away. Her vision was blurring, her heart pumping and her lungs screamed for air. A strong pulse was coming from her head, and she tried fighting back the tears behind her eyes, but to no avail.

If he saw or smelled those tears, it would cause him to create more pain, more torture. Struggling now, with some hidden flame of hope, she tried clawing at his hands to release her.

_It's only a memory of what once was, _

_It's only the past._

_Yet, here I am, _

_Shrouded in darkness,_

_Willing myself to disappear._

Her captor released her, letting her frail body hit the ground. Refusing to look up into his eyes, she focused on her breathing. That was what was really important right now. _LIAR! _The word echoed throughout her mind. She was lying. That wasn't as important as saving him. He needed her more than ever. She couldn't be weak right now. She couldn't erase the chance of saving him.

Her body trembled with fear and fragility, and tried desperately to get onto her knees, but her lack of air caused her to fall to the hard floor once again.

She heard a laugh, but it was not from her captor, it was someone else. Someone so evil, that it made your own spine tingle when you heard their harsh words. Someone so powerful and vile that they cannot control themselves, their desires burning through their veins, and an aura so dark and deceiving, only a murderer could have such a presence.

_The cold tears washing down my face,_

_The shadows looming above my head,_

_Because my eternal sunshine is gone……_

Reality seemed to stop as her archenemy, a man she swore to kill, a creature so cruel that not even hell could compare stepped from the shadows. Her captor turned to the man and smirked evilly. This man that stood, still in the shadows, gave yet another laugh, and she knew he was trying to toy with her mind, yet she couldn't let that happen. He was pure evil, and she would never let a man like Naraku get to her once again.

Looking up, when a cool air swept past her, she saw her captors jet red eyes staring at her. Trying to keep her tears down, she saw him sharpen his claws, waiting to attack her… to kill her.

Raven hair swept around her shoulders as a cold wind blew around her, and she shivered, but nothing could compare to the hollow feeling in her heart; the ice that burned, the fatigue that would disappear.

_I can no longer fight the longing,_

_I can only regret,_

_I can no longer fight the pain, _

_I can only clutch the stab wounds to my heart._

One clawed finger lifted up her chin, forcing her to look up into the yes of InuYasha. His eyes no longer the beautiful amber, but pure red. His face was dotted with specks of her blood, his purple marks symbolizing pure demon. His ears tweaked, but she couldn't touch them, his once cocky smirk was replaced with a twisted smile, one that looked hungry for blood.

She looked him in the eye, silently pleading to stop this. To stop the transformation that was occurring, to bring back the arrogant, cocky, immature, lovable hanyou she loved so dearly. But no, her wished would not be answered on this night.

No, tonight there would be bloodshed. Her blood would be on the hands of a full youkai InuYasha. His claws cascaded in dripping ruby red blood, from slashing her.

Kagome knew better than most that InuYasha's most powerful weapon right now was his claws, and also knew that's how he killed. Ripping his claws through your flesh.

_I pour blood,_

_The wound won't heal,_

_I see you standing there,_

_And you wont take a step, _

_Because you are the one holding the knife._

Kagome froze as InuYasha drew closer, his face inches from hers. She wanted InuYasha normal again. She didn't want to die like this, and especially at his hands. Once he woke up from this transformation like trace, he would know it was her blood soaked into his fire red haori.

It would be her limp body at his feet, and Naraku's evil laugh. InuYasha was a strong person yes, but losing her? Losing her would mean the end. She knew that she loved InuYasha, and for the first thing he would do, would feel guilt. He had already lost so many people close to him. His parents, Kikyo, and now her, except…

She would die at her lover's hands.

He wouldn't be able to deal with that, since it was he would promised her that he would protect her from whatever evil and darkness was out there. But… knowing he couldn't protect her from himself.

She knew he was strong… but not that strong.

_I try to be strong, _

_To look you in the eye,_

_Still, I cant._

_I wont be able to see the once pure love in your eyes,_

_Instead I'll see a dark void._

_Emptiness._

Youkai InuYasha growled deeply as Kagome spoke softly to him, "You were supposed to protect me, and you were supposed to be there for me. But… I don't blame you for what you are about to do. I love you, and it will always remain that way. No regrets, no guilt. I know you aren't yourself. But… always and forever, InuYasha. Always and forever."

The words had no affect on the fully transformed demon, and Kagome knew her words would sink in later, when he was normal. She hoped this time would be somewhat like the others. She hoped he would forget that he killed her with his clawed hands, but if he does remember, she hoped he would recall her broken words.

My eternal sunshine has fully disappeared.

_I shall die in the darkness of shadow, _

_And I will remember you aren't what I remember._

_I want to say my goodbyes._

_I want to say so much to you._

_But I only have a few moments, and I'll remember you._

_Never forgotten._

_Never, my eternal sunshine._

Kagome gave in to the final blow from her love. His claws went through and through, right through her heart. The hand wrung through her chest as he pulled out.

She had never been in so much pain. It hurt everywhere. In an instant, memories flashed before her eyes.

**The first time her and InuYasha had met, at the Goshinboku.**

**When she met Sango, Shippo and Miroku. **

**The first time she had seen InuYasha human, and he had told her she smelled nice.**

**When she was kidnapped from Koga, and InuYasha came and saved her.**

**The time when she realized she loved InuYasha.**

**When she saw Kikyo and InuYasha together many times.**

**When Tsubaki cursed her, and InuYasha fought for her life.**

**When InuYasha and her bickered almost constantly.**

**When she had told InuYasha she loved him then ran off.**

**When she was captured by InuYasha, as a full demon.**

Now… now looking up at the bloodied, now again hanyou, she saw the confusion and the sudden guilt in his golden amber eyes. She smiled weakly, as her eyesight dimmed around the edges. She refused to give in yet, so she whispered hoarsely, coughing up bits of blood as she did so, "Never… blame… yourself. Forgiven. Love you…"

_Maybe I was forgotten,_

_In that complex mind of yours._

_Maybe I was forgotten,_

_Because I wasn't that important._

_Maybe someone deceived you._

_I thought our love could get over everything, _

_My eternal sunshine._

That was when her eyesight faded, and the last thing she heard was InuYasha's desperate cry of, "I love you."

She would never wake again, to open her chocolate brown eyes, and to 'sit' him for thumping Shippo.

His life faded away as he saw the blood coated on her body, and on his hands. He smelled it cautiously and knew it was Kagome's. He felt tears come to his eyes, and he shook her, trying to wake her up from her eternal slumber. But, just like his mind had told him, she was dead, at his hands.

Those words she had spoken though…

Never blame yourself. Forgiven. Love you.

But how could he not blame himself. She had died at his hands, at the ferocity of his claws. She should have done something to stop him, to stop him from killing her. This should have never happened.

Naraku had put some kind of poison into a dart and stuck him with it, and that's when he transformed into a full demon. His instincts or the poison, or both, took over his body, and told him to find Kagome and kill her. She had hurt him. She had troubled him. She had made him worry. Death… Kill… Murder…

But he didn't want to kill Kagome. Actually, quite the opposite. He was in love with her, and was just shocked when she had told him she loved him. He hadn't expected when she ran off, and he couldn't smell her anywhere. How stupid, Naraku must have taken her before, or lured her into a barrier blocking smell.

_Now it's all over._

_The final battle of the war,_

_And we screwed it up._

_I wanted to tell you I loved you,_

_And I wanted to let you know, I never meant anything mean I said._

_I just didn't want to be loving and caring._

_But I messed up,_

_And something inside me took over._

_Now looking down at your stabbed heart,_

_Broken because of me,_

_I realize what a fool I had been._

_I had lured myself into a trap,_

_And by that fault, you are dead to the world._

_I never wanted it to end this way._

_But sadly,_

_When I changed,_

_I had forgotten about our love._

_Something evil took over._

_And now,_

_Our eternal sunshine is over._

_Everything should be forgotten._

_Our love, our lives, our past, and our present._

_But, I can't let go._

_I can't forget the smiles and the laughs,_

_The anger and the obstacles._

_But we overcame all of them, except for the final task._

_To remember,_

_To forget,_

_To become one with you._

_To share the same soul._

_But, we never can._

_Now is time to say goodbye._

_Now is time to let go of the pain._

_I know you said don't blame me,_

_I know you said that I am forgiven._

_But I can't move on._

_I was the one that drove that knife through your heart,_

_And now…_

_I am the darkness that clouded my eternal sunshine._

_I am the thunder and lightning blocking you._

_I destroyed you._

_I guess this is my farewell,_

_And I will be joining you,_

_Because when there is sunshine and darkness,_

_There's a rainbow._

_See you at the end of that colorful place,_

_With the pot of gold,_

_That can never be found,_

_And there I will be,_

_And waiting for you to forgive me._

InuYasha picked up Kagome's body tenderly, and placed her bloody and bruised body in his arms. She was so small and delicate, so perfect and lovable. He had killed a being so wonderful in this life; he had lost the one thing that saved him from the depths of hell.

If only he hadn't turned full youkai, if only…

_InuYasha…_

He turned his head in the direction that soft voice was coming from, and recognized it. But she was dead! There was no way she could talk. It was him hallucinating, and he hated how his mind played such cruel tricks on him.

_InuYasha, listen to me…_

He heard that voice again, and looked around frantically. He was sure he heard something, he was sure he heard Kagome's soft and sweet whisper.

_InuYasha, listen. I can only say a few words. I know Naraku forced you into doing this, and I would never blame you for something like this. Be free of guilt. I love you, and I want you to be happy._

But, even after what I did to you? I could never be forgiven of such a horrible crime.

_I forgive you. I have to go now. The goddesses beckon me. Fair well, InuYasha. We will meet again. Don't worry, I will always love you. But, forget me, InuYasha; you'd be better off not knowing who I was._

How can you say that? I love you. I would have loved you forever. I would have cared for you. I'm so sorry, Kagome. I'm…

_Shh, it's ok. I have to go. But remember, I forgive you._

He felt an odd tingly feeling on his ears, and smiled when he thought of Kagome rubbing them. He looked up at the ceiling and let a few tears slip. He couldn't face everyone after this. He had killed Kagome, and there was no forgiving that.

He found Tetsusaiga lying near Kagome's pool of blood, and he couldn't remember how it got there, but he set Kagome's dead body down, and reached out for Tetsusaiga, and made it stay as a normal blade.

Taking one last glance at Kagome's dead body, with a hole through her chest, where her heart was, he steadied himself, and prepared for a final blow to himself.

He closed his eyes, and when to plunge deep, except his sword burned white hot. He peeked open an eye, and saw his sword gleaming a white light. He took a better look, and noticed he couldn't wield his sword. It was becoming really hot to hold, and recognized this power as purifying. He dropped his sword, and took one last look at Kagome before saying out loud, "Kagome, why did you purify my sword?"

He let a few more tears slide. She really didn't want him dead, at least not yet. He knelt by her body and hugged her for the last time. Releasing her from his grip, he sheathed his now cool sword, and bounded away, to the depths of InuYasha's forest. He wasn't going to go back to Kaede this time. No, this time, he would never return.

K, this was just a little one shot, to keep me occupied. So, hope you enjoyed it… Please review, I know it's only a one shot, but I love reviews. Check out Wading In Too Far, it's a work in progress, but I was just stumped for the next chapter. Anyways, hope you liked!

_secretshadows_


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